It's been well over a month since I have sat down to write a little something on this blogspace.
If I'm being honest...I was on a slippery slope, going nowhere fast, letting life get the better of me.
I lost all interest in it all....in blogging, in TOPS, in attempting to get healthy. It's a journey I have been on for so long, with so far to go and it was feeling overwhelming and pointless. I felt that no matter how hard I tried, I wasn't getting anywhere, however if I took a moment to be truthful, I wasn't really trying either. My days and weeks were full of excuses and time lines I really had no intention to sticking too.
"When most of the house is packed, I can get back to focusing"
"When we are in the new house, I can get back to TOPS"
"When we are in the new house, I am going to start myself of on the right foot and exercise"
"When I get myself back on track, I will go back to TOPS...I can't go back having gained this much"
It's been almost 2 months since I have been to TOPS....I am neither back on track or into a new routine. It's been 3 weeks since we have been in the new house and I have not exercised once!
Enough was enough and I knew I needed to do something. I felt like a fish out of water and really needed to take action to fix that.
I have a girlfriend that is a personal trainer and I took up the courage to message her and find out what she would charge for some sessions. Feeling it was reasonable, I have committed myself to at least 5 sessions, but I foresee it being much longer. I need that weekly accountability and someone to help me make a plan for the week. Left to my own devices, I would still continue to wallow in self pity, promising that tomorrow was a new day and I would get my shit together.
She came today and we did a little consult to find out exactly what I was hoping to get out of this and then about 20 minutes of exercise.
I'm not new to exercise...I have joined a few gyms and have had a personal trainer before, but haven't done any of those exercises in about 4 years. We did a bit of circuit work, some squats, planks, push ups, curls and other work. She also had me use the TRX equipment. It hangs over your door and once I was able to convince myself that I wouldn't rip the door from the frame, I was able to appreciate the equipment for what it was.
It was exactly what I needed...I needed to once again feel confident in my abilities and know that this is something I can do...that I am much more capable than I have convinced my mind of.
As for TOPS....I am back to it next week. It's our yearly potluck and awards night. It will be nice to see everyone again and be motivated by everyone's success. While I may be heavier than when I was last there, I am ready to start fresh. So bare with me as I get this blog going again, my inspiration calendar back up and going and my Facebook page. I hope you will take a minute or two to encourage me on and moving!